Normalize the Nerves
First things first—let your child know that stage fright is completely normal. Even professional musicians, actors, and public speakers feel nervous before performing. Explain that those butterflies in their stomach aren’t a sign of failure but actually a sign that they care about doing well. Reframing nerves as excitement can help them embrace the experience rather than fear it.
The more prepared your child feels, the more confident they will be. Encourage regular practice so they know their piece inside and out. Repetition builds muscle memory, making it easier to perform even when nervous. Try simulating a performance at home—have them play for family members, record themselves, or even practice in front of a mirror to get used to the idea of being watched.
If your child is especially nervous about performing in front of an audience, start with low-pressure situations. Have them play for a sibling, a friend, or even a pet. Gradually increase the audience size until they feel more comfortable. Participating in group performances or duets can also help ease them into solo performances over time.
Help your child learn simple relaxation strategies to calm their nerves before they perform. Deep breathing exercises, stretching, or even shaking out their hands can release tension. Some kids benefit from visualizing themselves playing confidently on stage—encouraging them to picture a successful performance can be a powerful mental tool.
While performing can be a valuable experience, it’s important to recognize that not every child is comfortable being in the spotlight—and that’s okay! Some kids thrive in front of an audience, while others prefer to enjoy music in a more private setting. If your child experiences intense anxiety that doesn’t improve with time and practice, it’s okay to step back and reassess. Music lessons should be about joy and growth, not pressure and stress. Recitals and public performances are not the most important part of learning music; what truly matters is that they’re developing skills, confidence, and a love for playing.
Remind your child that performing is about sharing music and having fun, not about being perfect. Mistakes happen to everyone—even professionals! Instead of dwelling on what could go wrong, encourage them to focus on the joy of playing and expressing themselves. The more they enjoy performing, the less intimidating it will feel.
Your encouragement means the world to your child. Praise their efforts, not just their results. After a performance, celebrate their bravery and focus on what went well. Avoid dwelling on mistakes; instead, highlight the progress they’ve made and remind them that every performance is a learning experience.
If your child sees you handling pressure with confidence, they’ll learn to do the same. Share your own experiences with nervousness and how you’ve worked through it. If you’re a musician yourself, consider playing a piece alongside them—it can make performing feel more like a shared adventure rather than a solo challenge.
Like anything in life, performance confidence grows with experience. The first few times might feel scary, but the more your child gets up in front of an audience, the more comfortable they’ll become. Over time, they might even start looking forward to the thrill of performing! But if they truly don’t enjoy it, that’s okay too. Music is about personal growth, creativity, and enjoyment—not just performing in front of others.
Stage fright doesn’t have to hold your child back—it can be transformed into positive energy that fuels their performance. But at the same time, it’s essential to respect their feelings and recognize that public performance isn’t for everyone. By normalizing nerves, practicing regularly, and focusing on the joy of music, your child can build confidence in a way that feels right for them. No matter what, the most important thing is that they’re learning, growing, and finding happiness in music—whether that’s on stage or in the comfort of their own home.